In this post, you have the option to either meet Caterina in person or leave her an audio or video message. State which you want and I will happily follow your lead.
[She catches that at the end and practically tosses the phone away. Caterina is dressed in four minutes, down the stairs, and outside in one all while still closing her jacket. Her hair isn't done, but it is an emergency so she hopes he'll forgive that.
Of course once she comes out the door, sees that he's gotten sick while she was dressing, she realizes that was a silly though to have. Caterina's nose wrinkles, but she holds out her hand for him in spite of it. She's seen much worse, after all.]
[Gasping, Wade holds out one hand, the other hand still pressed against the wall.]
No doctors. I-I'll be f... [He gulps back another resurgence.] ...fine. Just a little stomach bug or something, that's all. I-It'll pass, I think. I hope.
[He feels awful. He's shaking; his body feverish. It feels just like before, back when he was undergoing chemo. But... That makes no sense, he thinks to himself, even as he struggles to calm his roiling stomach. I don't get sick anymore...]
[She withdraws her hand, bringing it to grip her arm. That concerned look on Caterina's face only intensifies.] Wade, please. We still don't understand what he did to us. You can't write this off.
N-no, it's just... [A pause. Deep breaths, now.] Felt fine until I went east and discovered that hospital again. Might've been something in there that... that didn't agree with me...
[He bends over, retching, but at this point he's already vomited everything up.]
S-sorry. Probably should've hightailed it outta there when I first started feeling sick, but I... I had to stay there. I had to keep looking.
[Caterina goes quiet. Suddenly, she's glad there wasn't time to fuss over hair because it falls over her face like a curtain as the realization of what is happening here starts to reveal itself to her. There's an emptiness in her voice as if she's reading from script she has no interest in.]
Abel. You went looking for Abel, didn't you? [He went back to place where he was tortured and killed. He couldn't find Abel there. He must be panicking.]
... Don't apologize for it. Take as long as you need. I can wait.
[Somehow, the lack of emotion in her voice serves to calm him; cuts through the miasma and the nausea and brings his mind sharply back a little.]
Th-Thanks. Thanks, Cat.
[Wade's voice is unsteady. He remains leaning against the wall and takes another deep breath of air; lets it out. Another one. Another one. After a few minutes, he straightens. His stomach is still afire with pain and he still feels very sick, but the worst of the attack has passed and his mind is relatively clear. Eventually he turns to her.]
Sorry. [That's the third time he's apologized, and he winces. He's getting bad with this. Canadian instincts coming to the forefront, he supposes. He shakes his head.]
Don't know what's come over me, really. Some kinda weird stomach bug or something. I dunno. It's not gonna mess with me too bad, I promise. Don't worry about it.
I will do my best not to. [Which is to say she'll worry regardless once she's gotten around to really letting herself feel anything again. Bringing up Abel has a habit of making her shut down hard lately. The too calm demeanor as he straightens up should give that away.]
You said you wished to talk. Are you ready to do that now?
[He runs his hand over his head; takes in another deep breath.]
Okay. You sent me out to see if I could find Abel, right? I just... I want you to know that that's all I've been doing these past few days. I wasn't slacking off or anything, honest. I know a lot of people were saying he was dead, that he died during the escape from the hospital, but... it just seemed too easy, y'know? So I did some scoping around. Headed toward the eastern part of town. The place is all opened up now, did you know that? Looks just like where we live-- well, maybe a little less dilapidated.
Anyway, I decided to check out that hospital. Wasn't too hard to find, really-- I mean, it was right on the outskirts of town. No one would miss it. I thought that... maybe they were keeping him hostage for some reason. I mean, Kite seemed to have a special interest in his kid brother, so I figured maybe he was keeping him around. For leverage, or something. I mean, we don't ever stay dead here, right? We always come back. And since he's one of the only ones who didn't come back when I did, I figured something must've happened to him. That they kept him there, or something.
But, Cat... it's all gone. The building's completely collapsed. There were a few med kits here and there-- some other things too, like syringes-- but... the whole thing's just nothing but rubble now. There weren't even any bodies, nothing to prove that anyone had even been there there. I mean, I thought... I thought I could at least find something of his, a scrap of cloth, a bit of his hair; some proof lying around that he... that he'd...
[Wade's voice breaks. He rubs his eyes as his vision blurs, and he's startled to find that the fabric underneath his eyes is damp.]
Heh. [His cynical chuckle sounds suspiciously close to a sob.] Guess I wasn't really ready to talk after all. Some mercenary. Can't even find a body when I'm s'posed to.
[That callous remark, that utterly blasphemous crack about one of the best friends he's ever had hurts him more than anything anyone else could have said. He presses his lips tightly together; his face now burning for reasons other than fever. His voice is quiet when he speaks again; completely naked of any front or bravado.]
I'm sorry, Cat. I'm so sorry. I tried. An' I'm not gonna give up trying, I swear I'm not, but--
[He cuts himself off. He doesn't even know how to finish that statement. Wade closes his eyes, feeling the uncomfortable sensation of moisture gathering in his tear ducts. The fever must be worse than he thought. One hundred and two, at least. No wonder his eyes hurt.]
[It's painful to hear. She sent him off on such a long shot. Caterina didn't really believe anything would come of it and yet... a part of her still wished desperately Wade had returned with something. She doesn't know how to truly live without Abel anymore. And he... he was always supposed to be with her so why did he-?
Caterina banishes the thought before it can go any further. He's not going to finish that sentence, is he? She should do it for him.]
He's really dead; gone. I understand... and don't apologize. You've done your best. I can't ask for anything else.
[Again everything she says sounds empty. Caterina plays with her hair idly as she continues.] These things happen here, don't they? We can't control them. Nothing's really in our control so don't... There's no need to feel guilty about it. You really did do your best.
[Now she's just repeating herself so she stops talking.]
[The even tone in her voice cuts him now, when before it had helped to steady him. He takes a small, uncertain step towards her, almost reaching out a hand as if he means to touch her before hesitating and curling his fingers into a fist. He looks helpless; uncharacteristically without words.]
Don't I? You're not like me. [She can stand here perfectly fine when everything dear to her has been taken. Really without Abel what does she have? Since the day they met, her life has revolved around their mission. What future is left for her now?]
You've made yourself sick with grief whether you realize it or not. I worry for you far more than myself.
[She may not have meant it in any sort of incriminating way, but in his weakened and vulnerable state Wade takes it as an attack. He had exposed himself to Caterina, making an entreaty across the boundaries of his own grief to connect with her, and to him she had simply refused to acknowledge it. Was patronizing him, to be exact. This was stupid. He was stupid. What was he to her but someone else in her employ, after all? He shouldn't be caring so much.
His voice is still soft, but there's a belligerent edge to it, a hurt sort of anger that he can't quite hide.]
I dunno. Burying yourself, wearing a mask so that no one can see what really lies beneath? I'd say we've got a lot in common. Only difference is, I can take off one of my masks. [He virtually tears off the mask in question, exposing his ruin of a face to her, the morning sky and all of Haven. His eyes glimmer with an almost unnatural light.]
I just thought that... I don't know. Maybe you'd be willing to take off one of yours for once. Since you've already seen enough of me, I mean. Obviously I was wrong about that. Forgive me, my lady. I shouldn't have overstepped my bounds.
[His expression is closed-off; his voice cold and rigidly polite.]
[Caterina grips her arm too tight for comfort. It seems to fit the theme since she feels uncomfortable beneath that calm exterior. His anger, words, the grand gesture of exposing himself all manage to get under her skin. For a split second, Caterina hates him for not being as docile and controllable as the others she's employed in the past. (Kate and Abel challenged her emotionally, but they were with her since the days when she was too small to carry her schoolbooks. They were so quick to forgive as well.)
It passes and her hatred goes back to the familiar target. Caterina hates herself for being so utterly broken as a human being she doesn't realize when someone is trying to connect with her.]
Don't say things like that. [She's quieter now, more tense.] Do you think I want to deny myself companionship? Do you think it pleases me to avoid openly grieving for my best friend?
[She takes a breath before adding in bitterly.] You should have realized by now I get nothing of value. I don't get tears, happiness, or even to live. I get to survive long enough to see what else can slip through my fingers before this nightmare ends. I am sorry if the way I deal with that knowledge displeases you.
Edited (i like this icon better for the scene. shut up >() 2013-10-11 05:42 (UTC)
[His words have shaken her. He can tell that they have. Good. As much as he hates to see her in pain, at least it's something. Better to feel something than nothing. He hates the way she tries to keep a veneer of calm; tries to pass herself off as someone who is above tears and grief and caring.
It reminds him too much of him.
Self-loathing. Yet another thing they have in common.]
Don't get tears, huh? [His gaze upon her is still hard, but there's something lurking in the depths of those brown eyes: sympathy.]
Then how come you cried for me?
[His voice is neutral, surprisingly gentle. It's the first time he's ever let on that he'd seen those tears in her eyes, when he'd reunited with her after their session with Kite. A callous tactic, to be sure, but Wade knows just how to go straight for the heart, and sometimes, cutting deep is the only way to let the poison out.]
[She looks surprised. It's not that Caterina can't imagine he saw that. What surprises her that he actually brought up that one vulnerable moment. Another time she would see through the manipulation. It's a tactic right out of her playbook, after all. Today there's little hope Abel will ever return. It takes all her strength just to endure that.]
... That was different. [She knows it is weak argument as soon as she says it. That doesn't stop Caterina from getting defensive over it.] I thought you were left behind as a mindless husk. I was happy to be wrong.
[He is unimpressed by her defense, and his expression shows it.]
What does it matter if it's different? It happened, didn't it? Abel was your best friend. I'm just some random merc who was literally tossed into your room one day. Why is it so much easier to cry over my well-being and not his? I mean, why can't you just... let go? Just once?
[Wade takes another step forward. His eyes are pleading now.]
Please, Cat. In all these months... I feel like I haven't done anything worthwhile for you yet. [He lets out a desperate, helpless laugh.]
And this is your way to do it? Asking me to fall apart? [Her bitterness turns to anger. She's not certain with who. Is it the ones who brought them here, Abel for dying, and Wade for making her care at all? It's a step up from the more passive emotions she's displayed so far.]
Because that is all that can come from this. Abel remains my most beloved friend dead or alive. I can't cry for a moment and be done with it. I'll be ruined. Is that what anyone needs right now? Another hysteric person unable to deal with the world we have found ourselves in?
You know that's not what I'm asking. You're much stronger than you give yourself credit for, okay?
I'm just saying... maybe we can help each other out. I'm not used to givin' comfort and I sure as hell hate to see a woman cry, but... you asked me to be there for you. A-And I want to. I've already run away from one person when they needed me. I don't want to do that again. And if you fall apart, I'd like to be right down there with you. Because I know how much it hurts right now.
Please, Cat. For Abel's sake. Let me just... do something good for once in my life.
[There's a solid minute where she doesn't know what to say. Caterina is a mess of conflicting emotions. She wants to hold onto that familiar mask that held in everything, but it's undeniably tempted to let go for once when someone was begging her to.
For Abel's sake.... It is what Abel would want, isn't it?]
... Did he tell you how we met? We can't do this properly if you don't know that much. You won't be able to understand.... [how much he means to me.]
[She nods. That was their agreed upon story; it was mostly true.] I was only twelve when we met. It was the worst day of my life.
[She starts to walk away from the apartments. Caterina trusts him to follow. She doesn't think she can sit still while talking about this.] My mother was the Duchess of Milan at the time. She was idealistic and hopelessly romantic. She loved the world and only wished to do what was right for everyone which isn't nearly as popular as one would think. To make a long story short our world is cruel to those who aren't born as normal human beings. A person with a power like yours would never know peace unless someone with great political power shielded them.
[Caterina smiles in a cynical amusement.] Those traits would have been fine though. Her power was limited outside our city so no one would have thought of silencing her. The trouble was she loved a man who could make those things happen; God's messenger on Earth, the assumed leader of the majority of humankind, the Pope. She went so far as to have a child with him who even at a young age was clearly gifted and believed just as her mother did. It became obvious to those who wished to destroy our world in secret that one or perhaps both of them would be a great threat in the near future to their plans.
[Caterina looks uneasy and hugs herself. What she thinks must be a long, dull backstory for Wade has finished. She pushes forward even as her vision blurs.] You can imagine where I am going with this... it was the kind of horror you would expect from this place. They sent a swarm of vampires to our home; a very savage lot of them at that. I watched helplessly as countless guards, my mother's side of the family, and eventually my mother were ripped to pieces among other things which are too terrible to say even here.
[The tears finally fall now at a steady pace. Caterina hardly seems to notice.] She convinced me to run toward the end. The situation was so terrible at that point I knew if nothing else it'd spare her from watching her beloved daughter die. I went to hide in the tomb of the Dark Saint, to appeal to her for protection, ... and I found someone else in there already; Abel. When the vampires finished with my mother and came for me, Abel killed them with ease.
The only thing we knew about each other is that we were both alone and utterly disgusted by what had happened. When we finally spoke he told me, "I have to protect humans. So I saved you." I told him in return, "I have to stop the enemies of mankind. Let's fight together."
From that day forward, we were always together even circumstances kept us physically apart. Everything we did was for the sake of our promise. We didn't want anyone to suffer as we did and yet we ended up in a place where everyone suffers without exception. I alone carry that promise and it's nearly unbearable.
[Wade listens to all of this in silence, keeping pace with her. Though they come from different worlds, her story is all too familiar, and he can feel an old wound in his heart begin to ache as she speaks of her mother; of her unfortunate end.
There are many questions he wants to ask-- questions about Abel and her family and the vampires that had attacked her home, but those can be settled later. Right now there's only one question that's foremost in his mind.]
Twelve. [She carefully wipes her face. Some of her hair had stuck to the wetness. Oddly enough she has the presence of mind to be embarrassed by it.] I was mature for my age.
[That's the part he must wonder about. What normal child could even string together a coherent sentence after that much less make a promise and hold to it for the next decade?]
[Strangely enough, that's a concept that's never crossed his mind. He lets out a breathy sigh, looks up into the slowly lightening sky.]
...I was eleven. Ovarian cancer, the doctors called it, even though I was too young to know what that meant at the time. It was... quick. She never even told us that she had it until...
[He stops, presses his lips tightly together.]
It's not nearly as bad as what you went through, obviously. And I'm not telling you this to get sympathy or to have a pissing contest with angsty backstories or whatever. I... honestly I've only told this story to a few people. I'm telling you this because... I wasn't mature. I couldn't deal with it. I just... shut down, I guess. Maybe if I had a friend like Abel back then, I would've...
[He shakes his head. There's no point in dwelling on could-have-beens. Wade turns to face her.]
You're an amazing woman, Caterina. You might not think you are, but I know a lot of people who've gone through half the things you've gone through and don't even have a quarter of the strength that you have. For what it's worth... I think Abel would've been very proud of you.
[He hesitantly reaches up as if to brush away the lingering tears on her face, but in the end simply lets his hand fall back to her shoulders. His eyes are serious.]
And... look. I know it probably doesn't mean much coming from someone like me, but... if you let me, I'll try my best to be at least half the friend that Abel was for you. That's a promise.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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Of course once she comes out the door, sees that he's gotten sick while she was dressing, she realizes that was a silly though to have. Caterina's nose wrinkles, but she holds out her hand for him in spite of it. She's seen much worse, after all.]
Come along. We're going to see the doctor.
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[Gasping, Wade holds out one hand, the other hand still pressed against the wall.]
No doctors. I-I'll be f... [He gulps back another resurgence.] ...fine. Just a little stomach bug or something, that's all. I-It'll pass, I think. I hope.
[He feels awful. He's shaking; his body feverish. It feels just like before, back when he was undergoing chemo. But... That makes no sense, he thinks to himself, even as he struggles to calm his roiling stomach. I don't get sick anymore...]
S-sorry. Just... gimme a minute.
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[He bends over, retching, but at this point he's already vomited everything up.]
S-sorry. Probably should've hightailed it outta there when I first started feeling sick, but I... I had to stay there. I had to keep looking.
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Abel. You went looking for Abel, didn't you? [He went back to place where he was tortured and killed. He couldn't find Abel there. He must be panicking.]
... Don't apologize for it. Take as long as you need. I can wait.
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Th-Thanks. Thanks, Cat.
[Wade's voice is unsteady. He remains leaning against the wall and takes another deep breath of air; lets it out. Another one. Another one. After a few minutes, he straightens. His stomach is still afire with pain and he still feels very sick, but the worst of the attack has passed and his mind is relatively clear. Eventually he turns to her.]
Sorry. [That's the third time he's apologized, and he winces. He's getting bad with this. Canadian instincts coming to the forefront, he supposes. He shakes his head.]
Don't know what's come over me, really. Some kinda weird stomach bug or something. I dunno. It's not gonna mess with me too bad, I promise. Don't worry about it.
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You said you wished to talk. Are you ready to do that now?
[1/2]
[He runs his hand over his head; takes in another deep breath.]
Okay. You sent me out to see if I could find Abel, right? I just... I want you to know that that's all I've been doing these past few days. I wasn't slacking off or anything, honest. I know a lot of people were saying he was dead, that he died during the escape from the hospital, but... it just seemed too easy, y'know? So I did some scoping around. Headed toward the eastern part of town. The place is all opened up now, did you know that? Looks just like where we live-- well, maybe a little less dilapidated.
Anyway, I decided to check out that hospital. Wasn't too hard to find, really-- I mean, it was right on the outskirts of town. No one would miss it. I thought that... maybe they were keeping him hostage for some reason. I mean, Kite seemed to have a special interest in his kid brother, so I figured maybe he was keeping him around. For leverage, or something. I mean, we don't ever stay dead here, right? We always come back. And since he's one of the only ones who didn't come back when I did, I figured something must've happened to him. That they kept him there, or something.
But, Cat... it's all gone. The building's completely collapsed. There were a few med kits here and there-- some other things too, like syringes-- but... the whole thing's just nothing but rubble now. There weren't even any bodies, nothing to prove that anyone had even been there there. I mean, I thought... I thought I could at least find something of his, a scrap of cloth, a bit of his hair; some proof lying around that he... that he'd...
[Wade's voice breaks. He rubs his eyes as his vision blurs, and he's startled to find that the fabric underneath his eyes is damp.]
Heh. [His cynical chuckle sounds suspiciously close to a sob.] Guess I wasn't really ready to talk after all. Some mercenary. Can't even find a body when I'm s'posed to.
[2/2]
I'm sorry, Cat. I'm so sorry. I tried. An' I'm not gonna give up trying, I swear I'm not, but--
[He cuts himself off. He doesn't even know how to finish that statement. Wade closes his eyes, feeling the uncomfortable sensation of moisture gathering in his tear ducts. The fever must be worse than he thought. One hundred and two, at least. No wonder his eyes hurt.]
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Caterina banishes the thought before it can go any further. He's not going to finish that sentence, is he? She should do it for him.]
He's really dead; gone. I understand... and don't apologize. You've done your best. I can't ask for anything else.
[Again everything she says sounds empty. Caterina plays with her hair idly as she continues.] These things happen here, don't they? We can't control them. Nothing's really in our control so don't... There's no need to feel guilty about it. You really did do your best.
[Now she's just repeating herself so she stops talking.]
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[The even tone in her voice cuts him now, when before it had helped to steady him. He takes a small, uncertain step towards her, almost reaching out a hand as if he means to touch her before hesitating and curling his fingers into a fist. He looks helpless; uncharacteristically without words.]
You don't... you don't have to do that.
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You've made yourself sick with grief whether you realize it or not. I worry for you far more than myself.
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His voice is still soft, but there's a belligerent edge to it, a hurt sort of anger that he can't quite hide.]
I dunno. Burying yourself, wearing a mask so that no one can see what really lies beneath? I'd say we've got a lot in common. Only difference is, I can take off one of my masks. [He virtually tears off the mask in question, exposing his ruin of a face to her, the morning sky and all of Haven. His eyes glimmer with an almost unnatural light.]
I just thought that... I don't know. Maybe you'd be willing to take off one of yours for once. Since you've already seen enough of me, I mean. Obviously I was wrong about that. Forgive me, my lady. I shouldn't have overstepped my bounds.
[His expression is closed-off; his voice cold and rigidly polite.]
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It passes and her hatred goes back to the familiar target. Caterina hates herself for being so utterly broken as a human being she doesn't realize when someone is trying to connect with her.]
Don't say things like that. [She's quieter now, more tense.] Do you think I want to deny myself companionship? Do you think it pleases me to avoid openly grieving for my best friend?
[She takes a breath before adding in bitterly.] You should have realized by now I get nothing of value. I don't get tears, happiness, or even to live. I get to survive long enough to see what else can slip through my fingers before this nightmare ends. I am sorry if the way I deal with that knowledge displeases you.
oh god that's better and yet somehow worse
It reminds him too much of him.
Self-loathing. Yet another thing they have in common.]
Don't get tears, huh? [His gaze upon her is still hard, but there's something lurking in the depths of those brown eyes: sympathy.]
Then how come you cried for me?
[His voice is neutral, surprisingly gentle. It's the first time he's ever let on that he'd seen those tears in her eyes, when he'd reunited with her after their session with Kite. A callous tactic, to be sure, but Wade knows just how to go straight for the heart, and sometimes, cutting deep is the only way to let the poison out.]
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... That was different. [She knows it is weak argument as soon as she says it. That doesn't stop Caterina from getting defensive over it.] I thought you were left behind as a mindless husk. I was happy to be wrong.
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What does it matter if it's different? It happened, didn't it? Abel was your best friend. I'm just some random merc who was literally tossed into your room one day. Why is it so much easier to cry over my well-being and not his? I mean, why can't you just... let go? Just once?
[Wade takes another step forward. His eyes are pleading now.]
Please, Cat. In all these months... I feel like I haven't done anything worthwhile for you yet. [He lets out a desperate, helpless laugh.]
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Because that is all that can come from this. Abel remains my most beloved friend dead or alive. I can't cry for a moment and be done with it. I'll be ruined. Is that what anyone needs right now? Another hysteric person unable to deal with the world we have found ourselves in?
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You know that's not what I'm asking. You're much stronger than you give yourself credit for, okay?
I'm just saying... maybe we can help each other out. I'm not used to givin' comfort and I sure as hell hate to see a woman cry, but... you asked me to be there for you. A-And I want to. I've already run away from one person when they needed me. I don't want to do that again. And if you fall apart, I'd like to be right down there with you. Because I know how much it hurts right now.
Please, Cat. For Abel's sake. Let me just... do something good for once in my life.
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For Abel's sake.... It is what Abel would want, isn't it?]
... Did he tell you how we met? We can't do this properly if you don't know that much. You won't be able to understand.... [how much he means to me.]
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I don't think he ever mentioned it. I only know that you were childhood friends.
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[She starts to walk away from the apartments. Caterina trusts him to follow. She doesn't think she can sit still while talking about this.] My mother was the Duchess of Milan at the time. She was idealistic and hopelessly romantic. She loved the world and only wished to do what was right for everyone which isn't nearly as popular as one would think. To make a long story short our world is cruel to those who aren't born as normal human beings. A person with a power like yours would never know peace unless someone with great political power shielded them.
[Caterina smiles in a cynical amusement.] Those traits would have been fine though. Her power was limited outside our city so no one would have thought of silencing her. The trouble was she loved a man who could make those things happen; God's messenger on Earth, the assumed leader of the majority of humankind, the Pope. She went so far as to have a child with him who even at a young age was clearly gifted and believed just as her mother did. It became obvious to those who wished to destroy our world in secret that one or perhaps both of them would be a great threat in the near future to their plans.
[Caterina looks uneasy and hugs herself. What she thinks must be a long, dull backstory for Wade has finished. She pushes forward even as her vision blurs.] You can imagine where I am going with this... it was the kind of horror you would expect from this place. They sent a swarm of vampires to our home; a very savage lot of them at that. I watched helplessly as countless guards, my mother's side of the family, and eventually my mother were ripped to pieces among other things which are too terrible to say even here.
[The tears finally fall now at a steady pace. Caterina hardly seems to notice.] She convinced me to run toward the end. The situation was so terrible at that point I knew if nothing else it'd spare her from watching her beloved daughter die. I went to hide in the tomb of the Dark Saint, to appeal to her for protection, ... and I found someone else in there already; Abel. When the vampires finished with my mother and came for me, Abel killed them with ease.
The only thing we knew about each other is that we were both alone and utterly disgusted by what had happened. When we finally spoke he told me, "I have to protect humans. So I saved you." I told him in return, "I have to stop the enemies of mankind. Let's fight together."
From that day forward, we were always together even circumstances kept us physically apart. Everything we did was for the sake of our promise. We didn't want anyone to suffer as we did and yet we ended up in a place where everyone suffers without exception. I alone carry that promise and it's nearly unbearable.
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There are many questions he wants to ask-- questions about Abel and her family and the vampires that had attacked her home, but those can be settled later. Right now there's only one question that's foremost in his mind.]
How old were you?
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[That's the part he must wonder about. What normal child could even string together a coherent sentence after that much less make a promise and hold to it for the next decade?]
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...I was eleven. Ovarian cancer, the doctors called it, even though I was too young to know what that meant at the time. It was... quick. She never even told us that she had it until...
[He stops, presses his lips tightly together.]
It's not nearly as bad as what you went through, obviously. And I'm not telling you this to get sympathy or to have a pissing contest with angsty backstories or whatever. I... honestly I've only told this story to a few people. I'm telling you this because... I wasn't mature. I couldn't deal with it. I just... shut down, I guess. Maybe if I had a friend like Abel back then, I would've...
[He shakes his head. There's no point in dwelling on could-have-beens. Wade turns to face her.]
You're an amazing woman, Caterina. You might not think you are, but I know a lot of people who've gone through half the things you've gone through and don't even have a quarter of the strength that you have. For what it's worth... I think Abel would've been very proud of you.
[He hesitantly reaches up as if to brush away the lingering tears on her face, but in the end simply lets his hand fall back to her shoulders. His eyes are serious.]
And... look. I know it probably doesn't mean much coming from someone like me, but... if you let me, I'll try my best to be at least half the friend that Abel was for you. That's a promise.
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